note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
