Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
