I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
4 words: hood of his car
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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