It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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