i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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