We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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