Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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