Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
