This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
