But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
