It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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