Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
