dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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