everyone is single if you try hard enough
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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