We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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