I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Your penis caused this!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
