He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
