i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
