Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
