Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize