idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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