Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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