Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
