I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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