my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
