its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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