Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
