ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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