so explain again why im purple
no
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
