I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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