There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
