in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
