I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
