dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
