I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
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He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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