he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
