As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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