I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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