Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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