What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
