my sisters under your porch take her home
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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