"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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