Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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