i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
