ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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