How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The adults are the big ones right?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
