Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
