I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
