I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
