There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
