You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
