Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
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My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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