i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
