my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
