I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
