grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
