things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
