What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
