Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
