Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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