I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
