Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
