oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's get the cat blown out
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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